I woke up today thinking about pride. I poked around a bit on the internet and most of the quotations associated with pride are about the negative side of pride – you know the ones: “pride goeth before a fall.” This is not the kind of pride I’m thinking about. I’m not thinking about vanity and boastfulness; I’m thinking about positive self-regard, a vision of oneself as gifted, loved, cherished, worthy.
From Wikipedia:
“With a positive connotation, pride refers to a satisfied sense of attachment toward one’s own or another’s choices and actions, or toward a whole group of people, and is a product of praise, independent self-reflection, or a fulfilled feeling of belonging. Philosophers and social psychologists have noted that pride is a complex secondary emotion which requires the development of a sense of self and the mastery of relevant conceptual distinctions (e.g., that pride is distinct from happiness and joy) through language-based interaction with others.”
Why was I thinking about pride? Because I think it is the best word to describe a virtue I think is indispensable to going forward each day in a way that fills that day with all that is possible. I’m not sure how one gains a sense of pride but I know it when I see it in others, and in myself, and somehow I want to figure out a way to foster it and sustain it.
When I examine my own experiences with pride, I think of how people in my life have helped me feel successful and notice my abilities, strengths, capacities, and I am also very aware of how I had to “buy-in” to their beliefs before I truly felt pride.
I witnessed pride this week when one of my preschoolers demonstrated his new skill of spelling his entire name in front of his classmates. Yes – I had highlighted this skill as one that is important, and yes – we have been taking steps to become successful, but the little spark of pride that glinted in his eyes at his own achievement is not something I could’ve kindled to flame without this child’s intrinsic desire to own pride for himself.
Other teachers I know are struggling with building the intrinsic desire to learn. I’m coming to believe that pride in oneself and a recognition of one’s own worthiness is a necessary first step – “pride carry-eth one forward” – and so I’m going to think some more about how to support my students in noticing pride in themselves more often.
January 15th, 2012 at 7:43 am
…interesting to me that when I first read the title of your writing today…I thought of the negative side of pride… and wondered where you were going to go with it. Things like…having an overly high regard for yourself and your accomplishment to the point of arrogance and self-centeredness.
Hmmm…what does that say about my headspace?
February 13th, 2012 at 6:16 pm
I am also very aware of how I had to “buy-in” to their beliefs before I truly felt pride.
The positive connotation of pride is of ultimate importance to educators.
Can you say more about how you arrived at the point where you could “buy-in” to others beliefs about you so that you could feel positive pride in yourself? Was it a significant number of positive experiences/evaluations at critical times–perhaps at a crucial age ? For middle schoolers, are we counter-acting years of feeling “less than . . .” Having to do major multiplication by offering 12 positives for each of the negatives the kids have accumulated to this point? It feels hopeless, sometimes.