5/9 May-be

So I’m venturing into the kindness challenge with a week focused on self kindness.  One of the ways I try to be kind to myself is to process raw feelings in writing, often poetry. Today I was at work  and watching others around me and that little worm of self doubt started to gnaw at me.  I decided to write about it and here is my poem for today:

What If

It is still so easy,
so-o-o easy
to go to that place of self doubt
recrimination
and persistent knocking from the question:
What if?

And the feelings behind the “what ifs”
are really
just shoulda-coulda-wouldas bundled tightly in cocoons,
soggy, with no hope for change.
Definitely not the unfurled, damp wings of a real “What if?”

A real “what if” will slip through a mail slot,
wash ashore on a high tide,
get caught in a branch,
turn up in the wash,
or in a pocket.

A real “what if”
just fell behind because of a loose shoelace,
was out of tune with a broken guitar string,
took time to find its way
because of a lost address,
has my name all over it.

A real “what if”
can be reclaimed
from the lost and found,
built from the re-purposed,
drafted in the re-imagined,
become reality.

A real “what if”
is just waiting
on the other side of “yet” and “but” and “maybe”
for me to show up.
For Me
to show up.

kindness

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