Two days in a row this week of hard discussions with team members.
I don’t shy away from confrontations but sometimes they make me feel helpless. I can work on myself but I often feel hopeless when it comes to team members. I feel like just throwing in the towel now and walking away.
When people are challenged by the actions and words by others I am reminded that relationships are the key. If I invest in my relationships then I will hopefully have trust in resolution. I know that people are challenged by the behavior of others but my experiences over my lifetime have taught me that if I lean in with wonder and curiosity and assume good intent I will come out with a better understanding of the other and of myself.
And – it takes more than just listening. I need to actually champion these others, speak to their gifts, call out who they are as individuals and name their strengths in a way that says I see and value them as team members; I am not just engaging a token conversations.
If I walk away, it is as though I am saying you and all you stand for are not worth my time and energy to figure out. Would I want someone to feel that way about me? No way!
So I shut my computer for awhile, stretch, take a walk, read a poem, write, and then sit back down at the table again with an open mind, open heart, open spirit.
And I gather my strength to figure out how to call others to do the same without shame and blame. That’s the tougher part for me.