Parenting is hard. I am thankful one of the little things I get to do in my job is tell a parent they are doing a great job.
Sometimes I really mean it. Sometimes I’m just saying it. Either way, a parent needs to hear they are doing important work.
I had a few people who did that for me when I was in the midst of the mess of being a full time parent. I was so thankful for their belief in me; surely it spilled something good into the work I was trying to do.
there is a rock in my shoe –
but I walk on.
it isn’t enough to bother about
finally I stop
to drink water,
the rock in my shoe
is a pebble of gold!
surely if I had wings
I would fly home with this treasure
and leave my shoes on the hillside!
but I don’t,
so I am walking again,
the little bit of gold in my pocket
and wisdom in my shoes
Nostalgia blooms abundantly
in those places where we’ve gardened
Heirloom beauties, new fancies,
those memories bound with hardy roots
nurture growth from tender shoots.
For me it is my summer plot
that produces a bumper crop.
i put the poem aside
to simmer for the night
but to no avail.
perhaps the wrong cut
Apparently I’m lopsided. I’ve been going to a physical therapist for the last 3 weeks to learn how to strengthen muscles supporting my back and core and mostly what she has brought to my attention is how tilted I am. My shoulders slope but now I see how my right shoulder is lower than my left and how my hips are mismatched no matter how I much I straighten the wasteband on my underwear. The PT even measured my legs one day just to be sure she wasn’t working against nature to get me to unlop my lop.
Noticing is the first step to doing something so with my new awareness I am trying to stretch myself straight. I’ve been doing the new exercises and it all feels good but oh, I get so tired. As if May wasn’t already a heavy workout month! Better late than never though.
I woke up at 3:30 am this morning – and knew I wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep. I put my ear buds in and tapped my radio on, setting the timer for 60 minutes just in case I nodded off again.
I listened a little bit and enjoyed just being cozy in my covers with the cat and Mike sleeping next to me. And even though I couldn’t get back to sleep, it was great to lie there thinking ahead to a few weeks from now when I won’t even be setting a morning alarm.
So I’m venturing into the kindness challenge with a week focused on self kindness. One of the ways I try to be kind to myself is to process raw feelings in writing, often poetry. Today I was at work and watching others around me and that little worm of self doubt started to gnaw at me. I decided to write about it and here is my poem for today:
It is still so easy,
to go to that place of self doubt
and persistent knocking from the question:
And the feelings behind the “what ifs”
just shoulda-coulda-wouldas bundled tightly in cocoons,
soggy, with no hope for change.
Definitely not the unfurled, damp wings of a real “What if?”
A real “what if” will slip through a mail slot,
wash ashore on a high tide,
get caught in a branch,
turn up in the wash,
or in a pocket.
A real “what if”
just fell behind because of a loose shoelace,
was out of tune with a broken guitar string,
took time to find its way
because of a lost address,
has my name all over it.
A real “what if”
can be reclaimed
from the lost and found,
built from the re-purposed,
drafted in the re-imagined,
A real “what if”
is just waiting
on the other side of “yet” and “but” and “maybe”
for me to show up.
to show up.
A Kindness Challenge – I can hardly wait to dive in – maybe you’d like to join too. Here’s the info from blog titled The Richness of a Simple Life
I learned about it from another blogger – you might like to check that site out too, I know I love reading it: Haddon Musings
Happy Mother’s Day to moms, mentors, caring-lovely-friends and children everywhere.
I hope you are having a good time on your cruise to Alaska. Thank you so much for the use of your home for my “crafty ladies retreat” day. The weather was incredible and so we were able to be out on your deck making a mess!
Sarah painted some gingko leaves with glue for a batik and Sandy, Deanna and I got busy making Sharpie tie-dye scarves with the silk I ordered. It was a blast and so easy!
We’ll have to schedule a day like that when you are home because I know you would love to join right in.
See you soon, Amelia