Tag Archives: best friends

message – July 7

Message in a bottle for July 7th – “having close friends”

Friendships have two sides – hers and mine – so here is my attempt at thinking about two of my friendships from two points of view.

Friend One

Too late I realize I’ve sent another late night text
asking about a walk or chat over coffee.
I think “late” is my secret middle name
because no matter what the time we set to meet,
I am never there on time.
She says it doesn’t matter,
and I believe her.
There is a timelessness to our friendship;
we’ve known each other for years,
and yet I don’t take our friendship for granted.
Always I am thankful to God for her presence in my life.

Friend Two

She is coming to my home for a visit.
There is never enough bounty in my cupboards
to demonstrate my gratitude for her friendship.
I clean my house fastidiously,
mostly to keep the chatter in my head
about not being enough
from mounting to a raucous din.
I plan and prepare meals,
hoping we will drink wine and chat
long into the night
for my heart longs to be full.

the other side

to Friend One

I block out whole afternoons for our get-togethers:
1) because I never know when she will actually show up and
2) because it is a gift to spend as much time as possible with this precious friend.
Our friendship grew slowly but steadily
and now she is one of my trusted few –
you know, the friends I count on one hand.
I don’t want to take her presence for granted,
and I’ve made it a priority to respond to those late night texts,
or send one of my own,
and always, always, make the time for us to meet.

to Friend Two

She shops and cooks and prepares food
and her table is blanketed with choices,
so many offerings.
The sheets on the guest bed have been dried in the sun,
there is the scent of lavender adrift in the room.
I don’t know how to calm the voices in her head
or communicate effectively
that all this abundance isn’t necessary;
being in her presence is more than enough
to fill my heart up to the brim.


best friends

When I was eight, my best friend lived right next door. Her mom bought her one of the first Barbies.  My mom decided I should have Midge, Barbie’s best friend.  I was disappointed, but playing with Sara made it all right.

Four years later,  on the other side of the country in a new school, my 7th grade teacher seated the class alphabetically by our last names.  McGown and Marcus became inseparable.  It helped that our parents had some of the same interests: sailing and Girl Scouts.

My freshman year in college I had three roommates but didn’t really have a best friend.  Then the sorority sister that drove me soooo crazy that first year, became my friend and roommate for the next three.

Moving back home after college, I met the man I eventually married.  Three years after our marriage, I met a woman at work and we began to live parallel lives.  Our daughters, she had twins, were born three weeks apart, and we ended up living on the same cul de sac.  She was an early childhood teacher too. We had so much in common for so long, and then we didn’t.

Many special women have moved in and out of my life since then.  For awhile I didn’t think about having a “best friend.” Then one day, a woman told me she would understand if I didn’t want to maintain a friendship with her when I moved away from her neighborhood.  I realized that was exactly what I didn’t want!

I have two women in my life now that I work hard to maintain “best friend” status with.  It takes reaching out, making time, and above all, trusting these ladies with my life, such as it is – probably more Midge than Barbie!