Tag Archives: self-care

message – July 3

Message in a bottle for July 3 – “Have fun.”

mmm, how appropriate to choose this message when I’ve just returned from a vacation, my son is healing up from another health issue, and there are post-its and phone messages about little projects I’ve promised to attend to this summer. It is a good little check in with myself about whether I am having fun or not.

The best proof I can come up with to answer that indeed I am having fun is that my wakefulness at night is not filled with planning for or worrying about anything the way it is when I wake up at night during the school year.  Lately, I’ve been waking I waking up, lying in bed enjoying how it feels to be comfortable and just thinking – about anything I want to – not all of it jolly but just thoughtful reflection. And if I don’t quite get the sleep I need to at night, I take a nap the next day.

If that changes, it will be a good reminder to get back to having fun with summer.

5/9 May-be

So I’m venturing into the kindness challenge with a week focused on self kindness.  One of the ways I try to be kind to myself is to process raw feelings in writing, often poetry. Today I was at work  and watching others around me and that little worm of self doubt started to gnaw at me.  I decided to write about it and here is my poem for today:

What If

It is still so easy,
so-o-o easy
to go to that place of self doubt
and persistent knocking from the question:
What if?

And the feelings behind the “what ifs”
are really
just shoulda-coulda-wouldas bundled tightly in cocoons,
soggy, with no hope for change.
Definitely not the unfurled, damp wings of a real “What if?”

A real “what if” will slip through a mail slot,
wash ashore on a high tide,
get caught in a branch,
turn up in the wash,
or in a pocket.

A real “what if”
just fell behind because of a loose shoelace,
was out of tune with a broken guitar string,
took time to find its way
because of a lost address,
has my name all over it.

A real “what if”
can be reclaimed
from the lost and found,
built from the re-purposed,
drafted in the re-imagined,
become reality.

A real “what if”
is just waiting
on the other side of “yet” and “but” and “maybe”
for me to show up.
For Me
to show up.