(apologies to my Puff friends, our gathering last night brought these thoughts today and I know we really aspire to caring conversations)
I love to gather with my friends, and I pay attention to the conversation,
listen, smile, empathize, ask for more information
because I care
however,
I am reluctant for the focus of conversation to shift to me –
which of course it eventually does
because we are all so good at taking and giving turns to each other…
because saying things about my life out loud as if they are important
for anyone besides me to ponder, let alone empathize and ask questions about –
feels presumptuous..(it shouldn’t I know…)
of course my friends care about me the same way I care about them
but do they really care about what I care about?
I came home thinking about preparing better for these gatherings and conversations,
making a mental list of things to name
that I really do want to have company wondering about, especially out loud
such as:
what little part of my “ordinary-every-day” seemed especially remarkable today?
what is something surprising – sad – delightful I have noticed?
…and why is it important I name it for you, my dear friend?
who has really touched me and how did it happen?
who did I make a point of really being present for – why -how?
how has love come into my life and what will I do with it tomorrow?
now those are truly the juicy slices of my life
and I want to know your juicy bits too
wake up and write 
March 13th, 2015 at 8:44 pm
I often feel like you when I get together with my friends. I want to hear all about them, but when it comes to my turn I feel presumptuous.
Thank you for sharing!
March 13th, 2015 at 9:14 pm
Wow. Your writing has really made me think. There were some points that I could really relate to: I definitely have had times when I felt like I needed to prepare a list of “talk topics” before meeting with friends. There are times when I feel like opening up about some topics will mean opening up about way more.
I love the way your discomfort and … maybe irritation/frustration… come through in your words. Thanks for sharing.
March 13th, 2015 at 9:20 pm
I like your post today because it’s almost the opposite of me, but it’s very similar to my husband’s attitude. I get nourishment from my friends, but only because I tell them what’s troubling me and what I need help with. But my husband prefers to keep his troubles locked inside — oh, he’ll tell me, but no one else, and doesn’t want anyone to ask either. Is it because he thinks no one really cares? And why do I think others will care about me? How did I learn that presumption? Thank you for a very thought-provoking slice.