This weekend has been full. Full of family get-togethers, full of communication with family members, full of conversation with friends.
I’m filled up. I’ve eaten good food, heard good news and worrisome news, had provocative discussions and read and listened to thoughtful dialogue.
The best part of this weekend has been that I haven’t felt a need to rest and shore up for the week ahead. I’ve relaxed and enjoyed myself, stayed up a little later and had a few beers but today, Sunday, I haven’t felt next week tapping on my window. I’ve been able to let the weekend be a real end to my week instead of what often feels like the beginning – the “I think I can part” of heading up hill.
Math autobiography – an idea shared by Teri
0 – the age my grandma says she was aiming for because she thought we should be born old and grow younger with time; I’m still growing towards 0
10 -supposedly a “magic” age because usually everyone can name something special that happened that year; I moved from Alexandria, Va to Bellingham, Wa one month after my 10th birthday and have pretty much remained in the Pacific Northwest since then
25 – I married my husband of 35 years when I was this age and working about 3 jobs
32 – my second and last child was born making us the family we are today
44 – I left teaching in the co-op preschool setting and moved into teaching preschool in the public school setting where I worked for 16 + years and loved it. While I was there, my children left the nest and my husband lost his job and started taking care of our nest.
60 – I got a new job working in early intervention and am still in the process of learning. My son has moved back into our home, my daughter has moved across country and my husband is a doting cat-daddy.
4 – the age I would want to be in forever time
As the early bird in my family, I’m used to getting up and having a quiet house to myself. I like to do my stretches on the floor with the cat weaving in and out under me while I’m in the cat-cow stretch and then join me in my chair as I drink coffee, play my daily solitaire challenge and delete commercial emails that appeared over night. If no one wakes up for my precious two hours before I leave for work, I sometimes knit while listening to NPR or read.
Occasionally my husband wakes up at some point during this little routine of mine and if he does, I try to check in with him. We spent so much of our married life in syncopated work hours, (he on swing and graveyard, me on school hours,) that I want to engage him in morning routines if it works for both of us. I’ll bring my coffee into the bedroom and play my silly game or knit while he checks up on the news or we chat about whatever.
Today it was whatever. Because he actually got out of bed and was in the living room with cereal, my husband started singing “Oh how I hate to get up in the morning” by Irving Berlin. He looked up the song on the internet and sang all the verses and then read Berlin’s Wikipedia biography to me when I asked about him.
It wasn’t the way I usually spend my mornings, and although I really do treasure my quiet ‘me’ time, I’m impressed by what I learned about Irving Berlin!
We sat in a tiny 1 bedroom apartment, probably less than 800 square feet. One of my colleagues sat on the floor with me and one joined the pregnant mom on the sofa while her two children played in front of us. The mom’s friend and partner who are currently renting the apartment perched on chairs in the room as well.
This tight knit group of young adults are all caring for these children. When we asked questions to the mom about the boys routines and activities, all of them chimed in about what the boys ate, what they liked and didn’t like to do. Other adults from the apartment community wandered in over the course of the hour and half we were there, one of them settling in and eventually changing the diaper of the older one on the floor while we chatted.
Two children under the age of two and another on the way. No highchair, no crib, a dozen toys, no board books, the clothes on their backs, a borrowed stroller, food stamps, WIC, Tanf, DSHS….
and loads of love.
I’m glad the government can’t take away the love.
Everything on this desk is dusty;
everything propped on the windowsill near by,
the lampshade hovering to my right,
the photos on string against the wall,
How does life disintegrate before my very eyes
and then collect into a substance so unsubstantial
Looking at dust makes me tired.
I will sleep
and make more dust,
maybe enough to persuade me
Exploring with a camera lens in hand is a creative outlet for me. With my camera cupped in my hand I look around more and bend over to see what is on the ground or to view the world from a different angle. Because I am seeking to see, I usually come upon unexpected finds.
On my last walk on a beach in February, I stuck close to the driftwood at the top tideline stooping to look through holes and root balls, between logs and into protected cavities. I was intrigued by focusing my lens in and around holes. Little altars of carefully placed rocks on the surface of logs caught my fancy as did the collections of stones, shells and other debris in old knot holes. Two unusual findings were a root ball wrapped around a great stone and a dead blue heron.
Coming home and playing with the photos on my computer is the next step in my creative process. I am always surprised by the art I can create.
Is there something you are waiting for? More than waiting but anticipating with eagerness? It seems like the first day of spring is something people anticipate and are happy to see arrive whether or not the actual day is spring-like or not, just the realized date is enough to say winter is in the rear view mirror.
I’d forgotten today was the first day of spring but all my colleagues mentioned it. I started thinking about other things I look for to arrive. It seems to be a past time I experienced more in my growing up – waiting birthdays, for sleep overs, summer vacation, going to high school, college, weddings, births, special visits.
Now that spring has come, what am I waiting for, anticipating with eagerness in the same way I delight in the coming of more daylight, warmth and sunshine and flowers? How about you?