3-18-24

Tonight was another Poetry zoom night. The homework prompt was: “It’s four in the morning, I’m ten years old.”

This was my writing for tonight: (I’m sure my siblings will remember and relate)

It’s Four in the Morning

It’s four in the morning, I’ve been awake all night.  Not because it’s the day before Christmas, no, it’s the day after Christmas.  In a few hours, my parents will prompt me to dress so we can head to the airport.  My first trip on an airplane! 

Today, we are moving across country, from one Washington to another, from an originally settled colony to what was once a frontier. Just like in the books I love to read, I will get to be a pioneer.

I will settle in a foreign landscape of evergreen trees and water, school buses on country roads with barns, ferry boats to take me to islands and deer grazing just beyond my front porch.

It’s four in the morning and I’m ten years old.  I’m excited about my new adventure.  Twenty four hours from now I will be 3000 miles away from here.

3-16-24

When my siblings and I were grown and flown from the nest, each of us had some sort of routine for calling my parents and updating them on our lives. Often, it was on the weekend. I know for me, it was usually on Sunday. My parents would call it a “red letter” weekend when they had heard from all 4 of us.

Today, my sister from Minnesota arrived to visit for the week. She and her husband will be moving west in June. My brother is already out here living on Lopez Island and my youngest sister and her husband have bought the house my parents were living in and take care of my mom.

So soon my mom will have “red letter” weekends more often.

3-15-24

I know “church” is kind of out of style these days but I’ve been a member of my liberal progressive church since I was 15 and I celebrate that they do amazing work in the community.

I try to help with the program that supports children. We currently have a student who is training to become a teacher helping with our “Sunday school.” They are doing a great job of bringing the skills they are learning in their studies to the odd classroom that we have on Sundays. This could be a group of 6-11 children ranging in ages from 4 to 10 years old. I’ve called it the toughest teaching job in the world – I did it for a few years myself.

I volunteer to help and I try to mentor this young teacher as much as I can and they are working so hard to support this crazy hour on Sundays. I love that this young person continues to show up week after week and accept the mentoring of so many retired teachers in our congregation as well as the input from parents. They are doing an amazing job. I know their education is coming to and end and they will be applying for jobs soon, I wish their potential employers could see how much heart they have put into this incredibly part time job and crazy position.

3-13-24

I was given a gift certificate to a plant place for Christmas. I decided to use it all at once and ordered a bunch of plants two weeks ago, mostly succulents. I seem to be able to keep them alive longer than other plants.

They arrived and I unpacked them and found little pots for them and put them on new shelves in my window. One of them was quite weird looking when I opened it, like a totally squashed plant, but I decided to trust the process and hope that it would become less squashed looking with time.

I’ve been mommy-sitting for the past ten days and finally came home today and got to do a little inspection of my new green babies. The funny looking plant has sort of opened up and is giving me a little hope that it might become more interesting with time.

But one plant is in a sorry state. I’m doing some serious surgery on it’s limbs and airing out the soil because I think it got root rot. I feel bad about it. But I have been determined not to let my failures with plants impact my desire to foster some green in my windows.

I decided to order a replacement of the plant I think I’m losing. If I end up rescuing it, I’ll triumphantly display two of them.

3-12-24

A month ago I was wandering around a park, imagining the wedding my niece will be having there next fall and bawling my eyes out because my daughter had suffered yet another miscarriage. My counting puts that at number 9 in the past 3 years.

She wasn’t trying to get pregnant but accidents happen. She actually works really hard not to get pregnant because of her history. She’s given up and decided she has a womb from hell.

I’m excited about my niece’s wedding and I know my sister is happy her daughter has found a great partner.

My daughter is in a great relationship now too and I was crying because both of them are really sad they didn’t meet earlier, when doing some problem solving about trying to have a baby might have been something they would work for. But my daughter is 39 and really feeling like the time has passed and there are other things to look forward to.

This last miscarriage was just kind of the final nail in the coffin of “no grandchildren.” It makes me sad but I’m am glad to see my daughter happy with her new boyfriend. I know my niece wants to try for kids too. She’s only 6 months younger than my daughter so I’ll be crossing fingers for her.

3-11-24

I know I’m not the first person to write about tech and how when it doesn’t work, it’s a big problem.

Today is the day our agency has to pull compliance reports that review services that happened in February. I usually pull the report in the morning, share it with my colleagues in case anything needs to be corrected and then pull it again in the evening.

There were 18 children missing off of the report. Luckily, we will be able to add them back in and submit a corrected version but that is a lot of editing to an Excel sheet and I’m not looking forward to it.

Of course I’m glad I don’t need to create this report myself on a spread sheet but I wish that tech could always be awesome and not glitchy.

3-10-24

Weird how just setting one’s clock ahead makes the whole day a little off center. Not really hungry for breakfast, then snacking mid morning and so not really hungry for lunch. Going out for errands but not really able to tell how long I’ve been gone because the light is just a bit different. Finally ate dinner just because it seemed to be about the right time to do it but not sure my stomach is on this timeline yet.

Tomorrow I’ll be in better alignment I’m sure.

3-9-24

This morning I went to meet with some friends at a coffee shop. This group of friends had been gathering once a month over the past year with a focus on using poetry to inspire collage as well as reflection and integration of writing and imagery.

We were meeting at this particular coffee shop this morning because it was hosting a display of art created by unhoused youth who use our church basement as a gathering space. Some of our group members had donated art supplies for this project.

There weren’t as many pieces displayed as I thought there might be but it was wonderful to see it on the wall. And it was great to see my friends and hear about their latest ventures with art, poetry and spirituality.

3-8-24

Mom was in a muddle today. I can only guess at the causes of her being more confused than usual, being a bit whiny and demanding, and not able to track even the basics of her day. Friday is a day that she has friends visit – which is an amazing gift – to her and to us. But her anticipation of their visit today seems to set her in a wobble like an egg on the counter.

“Could you make the bed for me? I don’t want my friends to see my unmade bed.”

“Gary always makes cookies for them, do we have any cookies?” (I remind her that her friends are bringing a cake to celebrate the birthday of one of them.)

“I don’t have anything for Joan. I should have something for Joan.” (I go buy flowers, and I buy a back up of cookies, just for assurance that we do indeed have something to offer.)

My afternoon plans are that I have some work that I’m going to have to leave the house for. Knowing her friends will be coming, I wasn’t worried about leaving the house. I asked if she wanted me to give her lunch before I leave. The answer is no, but then as I’m getting ready to leave: “I guess I’ll just eat this granola bar.” (I brought her the sandwich I made yesterday.)

I returned at the time I promised and asked about the visit. She doesn’t remember they had cake even though her half eaten piece is on the table.

She begins cruising the internet and I catch her pulling out her credit card to purchase a “miracle drug” that she is sure will make everything better.

I’m glad tomorrow is Saturday. I’ll be around most of the day and there is nothing different happening to set her wobbling.

3-7-24

Playing Quiddler with my mom while watching, mostly on mute, the State of the Union.

“It’s 10 o’clock at night, why aren’t they all in bed!”

rug, bell 15 points sea, puts 7 points

“Why does that guy just sit there? He doesn’t look very happy.”

ax, ruin, soy 30 points ivy, wad 34 points

“This is a long speech, don’t they all want to go home?”

trunk, sea, he 48 points zed, spur, gel 39 points

“How come you still get points when I go out first?”
“Is there anything else we can watch?”

243 points 245 points

“Did I win?”