A month ago I was wandering around a park, imagining the wedding my niece will be having there next fall and bawling my eyes out because my daughter had suffered yet another miscarriage. My counting puts that at number 9 in the past 3 years.
She wasn’t trying to get pregnant but accidents happen. She actually works really hard not to get pregnant because of her history. She’s given up and decided she has a womb from hell.
I’m excited about my niece’s wedding and I know my sister is happy her daughter has found a great partner.
My daughter is in a great relationship now too and I was crying because both of them are really sad they didn’t meet earlier, when doing some problem solving about trying to have a baby might have been something they would work for. But my daughter is 39 and really feeling like the time has passed and there are other things to look forward to.
This last miscarriage was just kind of the final nail in the coffin of “no grandchildren.” It makes me sad but I’m am glad to see my daughter happy with her new boyfriend. I know my niece wants to try for kids too. She’s only 6 months younger than my daughter so I’ll be crossing fingers for her.
wake up and write 
March 12th, 2024 at 8:50 pm
Oh, my, I cannot imagine this pain for both you and especially for your daughter. Thank you for being so vulnerable here with us. Hugs to you. 🤎
March 12th, 2024 at 10:44 pm
Thank you for sharing. The pain is so great. Peace to you and your daughter. May she and you continue to have many good things to look forward to. I hope your niece’s wedding is beautiful in the park.
March 14th, 2024 at 1:36 pm
There is bitter and sweet here. I’m sorry for the sadness, but I am glad there are some pieces to be happy about. You have blended these thoughts so well in your writing.